The Parzival Games -- Submit Your Own Gunter
by wwheisenberg
Summary: SYOG! Parzival has croaked. The next generation of gunters has grown up on the legends of the past and have been preparing their entire lives. But so has a subsidiary of the IOI corporation, and although Parzival has more rules in place to prevent the kind of cheating that plagued the last game, they will try. Maybe your gunter will be the one to find the egg...
1. Intro

Big ups to the great Pikachu in the sky-holy hell I was lucky to be logged into the OASIS when the news broke... It's funny how it happened, actually. I play my character to be a necromancer, but I'm too low-level to be able to cast any powerful spells, so the weapon I really relied on was an enchanted staff that I had found on a random quest. It was comically powerful-the fire spells in particular. If Dumbledore himself had cast some of those spells he'd have ended up singeing his beard off. After getting the staff, my friends and I were burning through dungeons in no time. We were completing three to four mid-tier quests per day. That is... until I logged in one morning to go to school and found out my staff had been nerfed. Apparently it had been a mistake, and every level 8 noob like me that had completed that quest ended up with the same staff. And in my earlier excitement I had maaaaybe challeneged the school bully to a duel that would go down the following Friday. There I was: no staff, no fire spells. So I had been staying up late XP farming in the field behind the school in a pitiful attempt to level up. One randomly generated forest critter at a time. That is, until it happened.

I was tired as hell. I had been at it for hours but the digital sun was still shining brightly (it was never night in this basic world). I was about to cast a stun spell on a generic chipmunk when a loud klaxon sounded, seemingly out of nowhere, and a figure appeared in the sky. I was frozen, and my gaze was drawn towards the sky as if by tractor beam-I could see the other avatars that had been shamefully point-mining around me slowly turning without appearing to move a muscle; we were like chess pieces being idly spun by a distracted hand.

The skyward figure was rendered rather crudely, with pixelated clouds dispersed around him, but I immediately recognized it as Parzival (wearing the robes of Anorak before him). My heart began racing. I could feel thumping climbing up my throat. We all knew this had been coming, but so soon? I knew I probably wouldn't need to record my own copy, but just in case, I quickly pulled up my dash and selected the record icon to begin filming.

Parzival's eyes glowed yellow and he wore a red crown. I could hardly believe it! This was a clear throwback to the god that appears in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Was he already starting with the clues? Or just enjoying one of the references he was so fond of making? Parzival's mouth moved up and down like the film's cut out animation.

"Parzival is dead!" said Parzival. "Kicked the bucket. Sleeps with the fishes. Pushing up daisies. And oh boohoo, woe are we." The Parzival in the sky bellowed a deep laugh. Then the figure began to change. The massive head was shrunk down and the crude clouds disappeared as something small seemed to drop out of them and land on the ground, making a small crater. It was Parzival's avatar as it had appeared when he found Halliday's Easter Egg, in the default clothing with only Art3mis's chucks and Ache's magical sword equipped. He stood up from the kneeling position and continued.

"Well I personally won't miss the lot of you! Ya filthy animals. And yeah, yeah, I get it. You're waiting for me to get to the good part. To get to the part where I tell you how to win all my stuff. To leave you the keys to the precious OASIS that has cared so much for me and that I have reciprocally taken care of since Halliday's death. Is that what you're thinking? Because you might be forgetting that this message will be received by the almost a billion people that are logged in daily. And even more will join the quest after it's on the news. But if that's what you're thinking, and you're really eager to get started then fine! Have it your way." He clapped twice and vanished into black smoke. Then his voice came again but now as if from a great distance, "Good luck. You're going to need it." The smoke he left behind began to form words now...

 **The first key lies before the eyes**

 **That have seen it all before**

 **All the seekers must have sneakers**

 **Cause if they don't-well-look man they'll freaking die, alright?**

 **Rhymes aren't my thing so get to work**

I began flailing my hands wildly-I didn't have time to log out. I felt my haptic gloves slip off. I tried to lift up my visor but I remembered the helmet on this rig didn't have a retractable visor and I couldn't take the helmet off without taking the whole suit off! Why did I buy this stupid thing? I blindly flapped my hand until I slapped the table next to me. My hand inched along its surface until I felt my notebook and a pen. I flipped to the back page where I knew nothing was written and without looking tried to copy the clue. It wouldn't be very neat but I had no time to lose. As I struggled to blindly put my haptic gloves back on I looked at the world around me. Some avatars were milling about seeming to ignore the message, a few of them had logged out, and others, second gen gunters like me, who had grown up hearing the legends of Halliday, Parzival, and the rest, were sprinting, teleporting, summoning their ships, and otherwise hauling ass to begin the search. We had all known this day was coming. And finally, the quest was on.

 **THIS STORY REQUIRES CHARACTERS TO BE SUBMITTED! Look at the form in my profile and PM me (this is important-don't leave it as a review) and your character will be included in the story. It's no fun if there aren't enough characters, I'm looking for at least 10 for it to continue! IT SHOULD BE REALLY FUN YOU GUYS**


	2. GUNTERS

GAME LOBBY  
 _STATUS: WAITING FOR PLAYERS_

MATCHED PLAYER - **ARCTURU5**  
MATCHED PLAYER - **Oariann**  
MATCHED PLAYER - **Roman_Chemist**  
MATCHED PLAYER - **Crimson**  
MATCHED PLAYER - **BAPHOMET_THE_VILE**  
OPEN  
OPEN  
OPEN  
OPEN  
OPEN  
OPEN


End file.
